glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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