i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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