yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
