u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize