Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
