I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
