apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
