i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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