I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize