A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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