he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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