If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize