just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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