They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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