Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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