It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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