Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is my gift to your gina
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
