WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
