Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have aggressive nipples.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
