You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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