i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
