we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
