Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
