well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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