At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dear god my vagina.
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