WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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