we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
