my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
