it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
