Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i would punch a child for taco bell
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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