oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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