i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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