i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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