i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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