that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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