I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize