I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
