btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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