Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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