just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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