What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
