Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
