I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
