So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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