its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
