im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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