Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
