she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Couch. On fire.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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