We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
