Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
