dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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