So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
