Kiss
Puke
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
