they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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