I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
