On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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