Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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