we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
