Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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