my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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