I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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