Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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