I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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