Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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