i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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